A Sequel to My Hit Children’s Novel: Shiny Bunny Wins AgainGottlob: This is a cute picture and a very odd hashtag:
Ferdinand: Why odd?
Gottlob: I just think it’s funny to imagine clicking on the “#excellentsouvenier” hashtag to see what people think a good souvinier is!
I wish I knew how to spell souvenier.
Ferdinand: Click —-} picture of genital warts.
Gottlob: That is NOT a good keepsake, Ferdinand. I’m fairly sure of that.
Ferdinand: Souvenirs are for memory. Maybe it was the perfect embodiment of the experience.
Gottlob: “But Shiny Bunny…didn’t triumph. Not this time.
Farmer Brown wiped his blade clean on his bespattered coveralls and turned to walk away, perhaps forever.”
Gottlob: “Farmer Brown’s daughter would always cherish her new fur hat. It was really a great souvenier.”
Ferdinand: ……………………too sad…………………….
Gottlob: And genital warts weren’t!?
Anyways, I’m sorry. I was just trying to be funny…about the death of a bunny. Hm. Starting to see where I might have gone wrong here.
Ferdinand: can’t see too many salty tears for bunny
Gottlob: “‘But wait!’ shouted Farmer Brown. ‘I would never hurt Shiny Bunny, you know that.’
He reached behind him and produced the nose-snuffling rabbit, healthy and happy and bulgy as ever you please.
‘I just wanted to teach you a little lesson in cherishing the things you have. Besides, I’m a farmer for a reason: as a vegan, I would never let a daughter of mine wear real fur. That hat there is a prop I bought from an Alfred Hitchcock movie. Edith Head, you know.’
‘Gosh, Dad. That’s…kind of surprising.’
‘Well, let that be another lesson to you. Now let’s mosey—I reckon Momma Brown has a batch of her famous Provinçial Tartlets all whipped up and just perfect for hungry farmers.’”
Ferdinand: oh thank god